One Man’s Journey: from anti-astro to turf traitor

This month, Daily Mail columnist Robert Hardman wrote a piece about his new artificial lawn, giving an entertaining account of his journey from anti-astro, to turf traitor.

When the idea was suggested by his wife, Hardman was sceptical to say the least.  He describes artificial grass installation as pure vandalism – “like hammering a satellite dish to an oak tree, putting ketchup on a scone…”  His views are later transformed.  Now a complete convert, he’s “insufferably smug and proud” of his new lawn.

The article is a must-read for anyone considering faking it…especially if you’re trying to persuade your better-half.  Complete with pictures of Richard hoovering the garden – “But if I thought my mowing days were over, I was mistaken. This weekend, my wife handed me the vacuum cleaner, pointed to the garden and said: ‘Leaves…”

Chuck out the Flymo! I’ve got a lawn you can vacuum: Turf traitor Robert Hardman thinks his new plastic garden will leave you green with envy

The moral of the story is…don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Last year, we reported on the chaos that ensued when a quaint Cotswolds village decided to install fake turf on muddy verges by the river.  Reporters from all over the World ridiculed the tourist hot-spot.  This is despite the fact officials took the decision to save thousands in maintenance costs.  When will this snobbery end?

The time and money-saving benefits of artificial grass are undeniable.  Contrary to popular belief modern fake grass does not resemble green grocer matting (assuming you’re not looking at something for 99p on eBay).  They’re both green, yes.  But look closely and you’ll see that quality products are multi-tonal – with green, yellow, and brown fibres that look just like the real thing.

Evidence also shows that despite being made of plastic, artificial lawns are less detrimental to the environment than natural grass maintenance.  The latter involving power hungry mowers, chemical pesticides, fertilisers, and water waste.

Speaking of water…we Brit’s experience regular shortages, despite the rain.  Don’t turn your nose up…give fake grass a chance.  Come the next hose-pipe ban, when your neighbours all have yellow lawns, you’ll be the one laughing.  As I’m sure Richard Hardman would agree…it’s much more fun being a traitor.

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